Back From Hibernation

It has been an interesting winter and it is not over yet. New Year, new computer, two boxes of new dyes, and a list of goals a mile long. Let’s hope that my grand ideas don’t fall by the wayside as so many New Year’s resolutions do. (I am still going to the gym three weeks into 2019 so there is hope.) Many thanks to those of you who have continued to follow my adventures and place orders. Stay tuned.

The list so far, not necessarily in order of priority, I like to multitask.

  • Figure out this new WordPress template. So far it is exhausting my list of swear words. It is too idiot-proof and not very flexible.
  • Figure out the quirks of the new computer. Switching from Mac to Windows 10 has been a trip. And then there is the new photo processing software.
  • Heat the garage!! Somehow, some way! There is an infrared heater running now. The walls and floor have to heat up a little before I can work out there. I recently learned a new term, “cold sink”. It can be nice and sunny outside and my workspace will still be miserable.
  • Find a nice online shopping platform. I am open to suggestions.
  • Make stuff!!! and make more stuff!! and make stuff again!!

Any good vibes, suggestions, comments, discussion, or positive ju-ju sent my way will be very much appreciated and rewarded by the karma gods.

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Of Hearts and Such

hearts and bars

I went for a screening EKG yesterday and was told that it looks like I have had a heart attack; one of those silent, sneaky ones that tend to happen to women; especially postmenopausal diabetic women with polycystic ovarian disease.  I have been referred to a cardiologist and expect the lecture on losing weight, taking statins, and exercising.  Trying hard not to freak out too much (no pun intended) but my immediate reaction is, “Well ,no wonder I have felt like crap for so long!” and trying to come up with a plan to manage yet another chronic condition.  I was very sick all last fall, 3 straight months of one damned thing after another, knocked flat on my back, and I am just now recovering. I think the infarction probably happened sometime then.  I am trying not to be too paranoid about thinking that every twinge is angina now.

Ironically, a friend who was practicing her Reiki nailed it many months ago.  She said she felt something going on with my heart and I blew her off.  In addition to all the physical stuff happening last fall, there was some serious emotional turmoil as well.  I have often said that I felt like that particular person ripped out my heart and stomped on it.  I had no clue that could be taken literally.  In spite of the emotional pain, he acted as a catalyst for my growth and dredged up some long-buried crap that I needed to face and clear out. It wasn’t pleasant, but it was productive.

On the dying side (after all, isn’t that what this blog is supposed to be about?):  It has been frigging cold here.  Snow flurries and snow on the mountain tops yesterday morning and very windy, which causes the cold to bite through to the bones. Typical Spring weather in western NC.   I am itching to get back into the studio, got some special orders for friends I need to get done.  And a bit of a whine here; standing on cold concrete in an un heated garage is not my favorite thing to do, even with a kerosene heater.

I have bought a planner called The Freedom Journal, which is specifically for those of us who are trying to be self-employed.  I have committed to spending 2 hours a day minimum in the studio no matter what, even if it is just sweeping the floors and cleaning.  Dying is a messy art.  Wish me luck folks, and send good vibes.  I need all the help I can get and being accountable to you will go a long way toward me getting stuff done.  My goal for the next 100 days is to get all 60ish of my blank shirts dyed, photographed, and posted on Shopify.  Stay tuned.

Much love to you all.  Stay warm.

 

An addendum about hearts

hearts and bars

Interesting how things pop up just when you need them the most.  It was a bad weekend for the September Syndrome for me.  It has been a pattern in my life for I don’t know how many years that if there is going to be major drama and heartache in my life it is bound to happen in September.  I have quite trying to list the numerous events.

I woke up from a nap a while ago with this quotation on my mind.  I dug through a box of memorabilia until I found the very ragged piece of paper given to me years ago by a meditation teacher.  I don’t know who to attribute the quote to, just that it comes from the Sufi tradition.

Overcome any bitterness that may have come because you were not up to the magnitude of the pain that was entrusted to you.  LIke the mother of the world who carries the pain of the world in her heart, each of us is part of her heart and is, therefore, endowed with a certain measure of cosmic pain. You are sharing in the totality of that pain.  You are called upon to meet it with joy in stead of self-pity.  The secret: offer your heart as a vehicle to transform cosmic suffering into joy.

Point taken, Universe, point taken.